This and That

July 25, 2007

Long distance parents

Filed under: parents — yaadayaada @ 5:57 am

Of late, I have been wondering what goes on in the minds of parents who live all the way across the ocean from their kids. As they get to 60 plus years of age how do they feel about their kids living so far off. These are the parents who got their daughters married off to a groom in far off land or sent their sons/daughters to far off land for education/job happily. Looks like they didn’t think through when they sent them off. I see so many parents now regretting that they sent their daughters/sons to far off land. I have seen 3 kinds of parents so far.

First kind: They would love to have their kids nearby but they are happy for their kids. So they put up a happy front and live life with optimism.

Second kind: They would love to have their kids nearby. They keep nagging their kids to come back.

Third kind:  They think it is their kids duty to be with them. They hate their kids for living so far away. They make sure they let their kids know about it and make them feel guilty. They pick up a fight every time they talk to their kids. They lead a very unhappy life and also create an unhappy environment around them.

I have seen examples of all 3 of these parents. Irrespective of what kind of  parent/in-laws one has, it is a tough decision making time for the kids when the parents need them. God forbid, I am not in the position yet. But how do others handle it. Do the kids talk to their parents about their expectations, etc., Is it always possible for the kids to stay with their parents even after they return. I mean the kids family and the parents have lived independently on their own for so long. Is it posisble for them to co-exist with ease now? I mean two women of the house under one roof.

Is the above rant meaningless and am I making a mountain out of a mole? Do we just go with the flow? I am confused.

1 Comment »

  1. girl, Do I know you?

    As for co-existing, I don’t think there is any easy answer. It all depends on both the families, their tolerance towards each others lifestyle.
    It makes me think, its easier for mother-daughter family to co-exist than the mil-dil family as women tend to be the pickier kind. Men don’t seem to care either way.

    Comment by rbdans — August 6, 2007 @ 11:15 pm

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